resolving_issues_with_your_boss

05/18/2025:

Resolving Issues with Your Boss (Part 19):

Leadership Mistakes

Summary of Part 18B

Part 18B was the second part of a two-part examination of internal issues constraining workplace collaboration. This continuation highlights how underlying psychological states influence workplace dynamics. While numerous biases and cognitive distortions can escalate conflicts, individuals do not need specialized training to manage them. Recognizing key behavioral cues and applying common-sense strategies—such as active listening, empathy, and reframing—can effectively de-escalate tensions. With practice, these approaches enhance workplace relationships, fostering a more collaborative and productive environment.

Introduction

Most of us are born into a family where we are assigned or take on certain roles. Should we later— for whatever reason— become dissatisfied with those roles, changing them can be difficult, especially if they do not align with our preferences or abilities. When we meet resistance to such changes, we often experience frustration and anger over time.

When we leave, as we eventually must, it is often after things have deteriorated to the point where reconciliation becomes impossible without deliberate intervention—leaving us to wonder whether such an effort is truly worth the cost.

Outside the family, our group associations follow a similar pattern: we assume a role and are expected to fulfill it. If we attempt to change it—whether with or without permission—we may be met with resistance, anger, or even exclusion. Such attempts are often perceived as boundary-crossing within the group.

One of the dilemmas of group membership—despite its benefits—is that once we are accepted, it is difficult to redefine the basis upon which we were granted acceptance. Yet, at the same time, breaking those ties can also be difficult. This dynamic applies just as much to our workplaces and professional environments.

Management Effectiveness and Conflict Resolution

Many business executives and managers struggle with effective leadership, partly because they lack strong conflict resolution skills or feel constrained by operational demands that limit their ability to address workplace conflicts. Conflict resolution is a complex skill set that is rarely emphasized in business education. Many leaders rise through the ranks due to technical or operational excellence rather than interpersonal effectiveness, creating a fundamental gap in leadership preparation.

Formal training in conflict resolution is limited. Most MBA and business programs dedicate minimal curriculum time to it compared to financial, strategic, or operational topics. In the United States—likely due to a deep-rooted Puritan cultural influence—many people are uncomfortable with emotional dynamics, particularly in professional settings. As a result, business leaders often struggle with the emotional aspects of workplace disputes. Displays of emotion are generally considered inappropriate. Research suggests that managers frequently default to conflict avoidance rather than proactively addressing issues. Many organizations only intervene after conflicts have escalated rather than implementing systems to identify and resolve tensions early.

The False Narrative of Transactional Leadership

A major obstacle to effective conflict management stems from persistent misconceptions about leadership itself. Many organizations perpetuate the false belief that effective leaders must have all the answers. This creates pressure to project certainty rather than facilitate dialogue in times of conflict.

Furthermore, leadership is often framed in a transactional manner—focused on tasks, decisions, and outcomes—rather than as a relational role that involves building trust, managing emotions, and fostering a healthy team dynamic. Many leaders fear that acknowledging uncertainty or seeking collaborative solutions will undermine their authority.

Technical experts who are promoted into leadership roles often assume their primary responsibility is to provide solutions rather than facilitate resolution processes. There is also a common belief that engaging in conflict resolution requires showing vulnerability—a quality that many leaders mistakenly equate with weakness.

Additionally, many organizations reinforce the false premise that when leaders make managerial mistakes but resist correction, employees have no constructive role to play in addressing the issue—short of direct confrontation, which often carries significant professional risks. This structural barrier forces employees to choose between silence and potentially career-damaging confrontation.

Time Pressure Realities

As mentioned earlier, the modern business environment imposes significant time constraints that shape conflict management strategies. Managers face constant pressure to deliver measurable results across multiple areas simultaneously. Monthly and quarterly performance targets often overshadow longer-term investments in team cohesion and conflict resolution.

The sheer volume of scheduled and ad hoc meetings—which frequently have ripple effects on others—leaves little room for thoughtful conflict intervention. Many organizations operate in perpetual "firefighting" mode, wasting resources and limiting their ability to address underlying issues.

The Organizational Impact

This combination of skill deficits, false leadership narratives, and time constraints leads to significant organizational costs. Unresolved conflicts reduce motivation and productivity. A 2015 Gallup study highlights this issue: while nearly 60% of managers believe they are effectively recognizing their team's work, only 35% of employees agree (Harter & Adkins, 2015). This 25-point perception gap illustrates how managers often overestimate their effectiveness in areas critical to employee engagement.

Workplace conflict remains a leading cause of voluntary departures. Teams with poor conflict management tend to make lower-quality decisions. Creative tension cannot be productively channeled in environments where conflict resolution skills are lacking, and persistent, unresolved disputes damage organizational culture over time.

Practical Strategies for Effective Conflict Management

While significant barriers to effective conflict management—such as time pressures, transactional leadership, and lack of training—exist, they are not insurmountable. Organizations can implement several strategies to improve conflict resolution. Some practical approaches to consider are:

Invest in Conflict Resolution Training. Conflict resolution should be regarded as a core professional skill for both managers and employees. If an employer does not provide training, individuals should take the initiative to invest in their own development. Many companies offer reimbursement for professional development coursework, but even when they do not, part of being a professional and a leader is leading by example. Platforms such as Udemy and Coursera provide reasonably priced, self-paced training options.

Understand the Tax Benefits of Professional Development. According to the Internal Revenue Service (October 2024), professional development courses can be tax-deductible if they maintain or improve skills required for your current job and do not qualify you for a new trade or business. Self-employed individuals can deduct these expenses directly, while employees may need to itemize them as miscellaneous deductions.

Lead by Example Through Independent Learning. Taking independent training—and discussing it appropriately with colleagues—is often more effective than petitioning leadership to fund courses that they do not see as meeting a market demand.

For example, I recall obtaining my Six Sigma Green Belt certification in the early 2000s while working as a subcontractor for a major management consulting firm. At the time, my colleagues were primarily focused on Project Management Professional (PMP) certification. Since I had already earned my PMP, I was frequently asked how I had prepared for the certification exam. Naturally, people became curious about what I was working on next. At the time, almost no one had heard of Six Sigma.

After completing my contract, I moved on to another project. However, when I returned to the same client two years later, everyone was working on their Six Sigma qualifications. I do not claim to have directly caused this new interest, but I believe I helped plant the seeds of curiosity about it.

Conclusion

Organizations that neglect conflict resolution risk disengagement, turnover, and cultural erosion. Addressing conflict is not a distraction from productivity—it is essential for long-term success. By fostering open communication and equipping employees with effective conflict resolution skills, organizations can enhance morale, improve performance, and cultivate a positive workplace culture.

Leaders and their employees who embrace dialogue, invest in training, and model constructive problem-solving skills build stronger teams and make better decisions. Moving beyond transactional leadership allows organizations to turn workplace challenges into opportunities for collaboration, growth, and sustained success.

* Note: A pdf copy of this article can be found at:

https://www.mcl-associates.com/downloads/resolving_issues_with_your_boss_part19.pdf

References

Colquitt, J. A. (2001). On the dimensionality of organizational justice. Journal of Applied Psychology, 86(3), 386–400.

de Vries, R. E., Bakker-Pieper, A., & Oostenveld, W. (2010). Leadership = Communication? The Relations of Leaders’ Communication Styles with Leadership Styles, Knowledge Sharing and Leadership Outcomes. Journal of Business and Psychology, 25(3), 367–380.

Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.

Hancock, A. J., Gellatly, I. R., Walsh, M. M., Arnold, K. A., & Connelly, C. E. (2023). Good, Bad, and Ugly Leadership Patterns: Implications for Followers' Work-Related and Context-Free Outcomes. Sage Journals.

Harter, J., & Adkins, A. (2015, April 8). Employees want a lot more from their managers. Gallup Business Journal. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236570/employees-lot-managers.aspx

Huang, X., Iun, J., Liu, A., & Gong, Y. (2010). Does Participative Leadership Enhance Work Performance By inducing empowerment or trust? The differential effects on managerial and non-managerial subordinates. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 31(1), 122–143.

Internal Revenue Service. (2024, October 3). Topic no. 513, Work-related education expenses. U.S. Department of the Treasury. https://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc513

Judge, T. A., & Piccolo, R. F. (2004). Transformational and transactional leadership: A meta-analytic test of their relative validity. Journal of Applied Psychology, 89(5), 755–768.

Lorinkova, N. M., Pearsall, M. J., & Sims, H. P. (2013). Examining The Differential Longitudinal Performance of Directive Versus Empowering Leadership in Teams. The Academy of Management Journal, 56(2), 573–596.

Martin, S. L., Liao, H., & Campbell, E. M. (2013). Directive Versus Empowering Leadership: A Field Experiment Comparing Impacts on Task Proficiency and Proactivity. The Academy of Management Journal, 56(5), 1372–1395.

Rahim, M. A. (2002). Toward a theory of managing organizational conflict. The International Journal of Conflict Management, 13(3), 206–235.

Srivastava, M., & Vyas, R. (2015). Empowering Leadership: A Study of Team Leaders & Team Members. Indian Journal of Industrial Relations, 50(4), 696–712.

Tepper, B. J. (2000). Consequences of abusive supervision. Academy of Management Journal, 43(2), 178–190.

Zhang, X., & Bartol, K. M. (2010). Linking Empowering Leadership and Employee Creativity: The Influence Of Psychological Empowerment, Intrinsic Motivation, And Creative Process Engagement. The Academy of Management Journal, 53(1), 107–128.

While listening to an audiobook on the Medici by Paul Strathern, I was presented with a historical citation that I knew to be incredibly inaccurate. In a chapter entitled, "Godfathers of the Scientific Renaissance". discussing the apocryphal tale of Galileo's experiment conducted from the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the author cites Neil Armstrong in the Apollo 11 flight to the Moon with its memorable modern recreation, using a hammer and a feather.

Attributing this famous experiment to Armstrong on Apollo 11 is incorrect. It occurred on August 2, 1971, at the end of the last EVA of Apollo 15, presented by Astronaut Dave Scott. To press the point further, Scott used a feather from a very specific species: a falcon's feather. This small piece of trivia is memorable since Scott accompanied by crew member Al Worden arrived on the Lunar surface using the Lunar Module christened, "Falcon".

In an instant, the author's faux pas – for me -- undercut the book's entire validity. In an instant, it soured my listening enjoyment.

Mr. Strathern is approximately a decade my senior. As a well-published writer and historian, it is presumed that he subscribes to the professional standards of careful research and accuracy. Given this well-documented piece of historical modern trivia, I cannot fathom how he got it so wrong. Moreover, I cannot figure out how such an egregious error managed to go unscathed through what I assumed was a standard professional proofreading and editing process.

If the author and the publisher’s many editorial staff had got this single incontrovertible event from recent history wrong, what other counterfactual information did the book contain?

What is interesting to me, is my own reaction or -- judging from this narrative – some might say, my over-reaction to a fairly common occurrence. Why was I so angry? Why could I not just shake it off with a philosophical, ironic shake of the head?

And that is the point: accidental misinformation, spin and out-and-out propaganda -- and the never-ending stream of lies, damned lies, and unconfirmed statistics whose actual methodology is either shrouded or not even attempted -- are our daily fare. At some point, it is just too much to suffer in silence.

I have had enough of it.

God knows I do not claim to be a paragon of virtue. I told lies as a child, to gloss over personal embarrassments, though I quickly learned that I am not particularly good at deception. I do not like it when others try to deceive me. I take personal and professional pride in being honest about myself and my actions.

Do I make mistakes and misjudgments personally and professionally? Of course, I do. We all do. Have I done things for which I am ashamed? Absolutely. Where I have made missteps in my life, I have taken responsibility for my actions, and have apologized for my actions, or tried to explain them if I have the opportunity to do so.

For all of these thoughtless self-centered acts, I can only move forward. There is nothing I can do about now except to try to do grow and be a better human being in all aspects of my life. That's all any of us can do. I try to treat others as I wish to be treated: with honesty and openness about my personal and private needs, and when I am able to accommodate the wants and needs of those who have entered the orbit of my life.

We all have a point of view. Given the realities of human psychology and peer pressures to conform, it is not surprising that I or anyone else would surrender something heartfelt without some sort of struggle. However, we have a responsibility to others -- and to ourselves -- to not fabricate a narrative designed to misinform, or manipulate others.

Lying is a crime of greed, only occasionally punished when uncovered in a court of law
I am sick to death with liars, “alternative facts” in all their varied plumages and their all too convenient camouflage of excuses and rationales. While I am nowhere close to removing this class of humans from impacting my life, I think it is well past the time to start speaking out loud about our out-of-control culture of pathological untruthfulness openly.

Lying about things that matter -- in all its many forms, both overt and covert -- is unacceptable. When does lying matter? When you are choosing to put your self-interest above someone else’s through deceit.

Some might call me a "sucker" or "hopelessly naive". I believe that I am neither. Our species - as with all living things -- is caught in a cycle of both competition and cooperation
We both compete and cooperate to survive.

There is a sardonic observation, “It’s all about mind over matter. If I no longer mind, it no longer matters”. This precisely captures the issue that we all must face: the people who disdainfully lie to us – and there are many – no longer mind. We – the collective society of humanity no longer matter, if for them we ever did.

We are long past the time when we all must demand a new birth of social norms. We all have the responsibility to maintain them and enforce them in our own day-to-day lives. Without maintaining the basic social norms of honesty and treating others as you wish to be treated in return, how can any form of human trust take place?